Mar 19, 2021
In Case We Get Shot
Umbi: “Damn, what they pulling us over for?”
Thorns: “It’s okay, I got this.”
Umbi: “Okay, well, I’m going to sit here and try not to look like a dangerous Black man.”
Thorns: [smirks] “And I’ll try not to look like an angry Black woman. We got this.”
[Officer Dewsch pulls the couple over in a nearby gas-station and approaches the window]
[Thorns zips down her shirt half-sail causing Umbi to chuckle]
Dewsch: “Ma’am, are you aware that you didn’t signal in that turn lane?”
.
Thorns: “Oh, I’m so sorry, officer! I had no idea! We’re just trying to get home and cook some grits.”
[Umbi held his breath because even laughing could go wrong]
Dewsch: “License and registration.”
Thorns: “Oh, one moment! [she reaches across Umbi to the glove compartment, showing off her obliques to the officer] Here you go!”
[Dewsch flashes his lights on Umbi who is staring at the gas pumps]
Dewsch: “Alright, sit tight. No sudden moves.”
Thorns: “Of course.”
[Officer Dewsch steps away]
Umbi: “You’ve been pulled over a couple times, eh?”
Thorns: [brushes her bang] “Maybe once.”
[a few moments pass as the tension of the moment settles back in]
Umbi: “Hey, how about a kiss in case we get shot when that white man comes back?”
[Thorns and Umbi glance at the cop car in the rearview for a moment]
Umbi: “Come here...”
[knocking on the window]
Dewsch: “Ahem. Ma’am, I’m going to give you a warning. Use your turn signals.”
Thorns: [blushing] “Thank you, officer. Have a good night.”
.
.
[Officer Dewsch leaves]
[Thorns pulls up to the gas pump and Umbi steps out to fill up the tank]
“So, about those grits…”
Correspondence concerning this written work should be addressed to
Jacorry K. Lewis
