Fraud (Imposter Syndrome)
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Hector: “You said you have all these goals and ambitions but the moment you can share them with others you become fearful of them? Why?”
Sally: “I — Mm.”
Hector: “You’re a doer and — ”
Sally: “I think…[sigh]…I think I’m scared of being a fraud.”
Hector: “What is fraudulent about you?”
Sally: “Nothing, to be honest but — ”
Hector: “But what?”
Sally: “I have this deep insecurity…I guess about being a fraud. Why?”
Hector: “That’s a great question. Why?”
[three-hundred seconds pass]
Sally: “I keep asking myself but I can’t think of anything. As a matter of fact, the more that I ask, ‘Why?’ the less it makes sense. I can feel the feeling returning but I’ll ask again and it’ll fade again — it feels nonsensical now…”
Hector: “Go on.”
Sally: “Everyone makes mistakes but I know for a fact if I was going to cheat my way to the top I would have a long time ago. I’d have made it to the top and the bottom by now. I’m interested in remaining at the top once I get there. Once we get there. Maybe I want others to recognize that but it doesn’t really matter because it’s true anyway.”
Hector: “Work on your response now.”
Sally: “What?”
Hector: “Pretend I’m a stranger…
[thirty seconds pass]
‘Are you a fraud?’”
Sally: “Fuck kinda question is that?”
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Correspondence concerning this written work should be addressed to
Jacorry K. Lewis
